Friday, July 11, 2008

The REAL me

There are very few people in this world who really know me. I thought that it might be nice to share a little bit of the real me with all of you.

As I have mentioned in past posts, I've always had a tendency to worry an awful lot about other people's opinions of me. I have kept the majority of the people in my life at arms length as a means of protection. The older I get, the more I have realized that it can get pretty lonely inside the walls that you build around yourself.

When I look back at what people wrote in my yearbook about a million years ago, I notice that many of the comments made are eerily similar to each other.
I didn't really know you very well, but you always seemed really nice.
Have a bitchin' summer! Good luck in college."

"Nice". That always seems to be the word that people use to describe me.

I'm not complaining, or disputing this. I am in fact a nice person. I genuinely care about others and will bend over backwards to help another person (a friend or a complete stranger, it makes no difference), often at my own expense. This is the part of me that I openly and willingly allow people to see.

What the general public does not know about me, is that while I am very nice... I am also a snobby, snarky bitch.

I absolutely LOVE a good gossip session. I definitely talk about people behind their backs. I wouldn't say that I do it in a harmful way, it's just idle gossip. If I see someone in a less than flattering outfit, I will happily giggle and make snide comments with my friends and family. I would never, ever lie to the victim and tell them that they look good- I would simply refrain from saying anything at all. If the same person ever needed something from me I would do everything in my power the make sure that they got what they needed.

Of course, over the years my husband has gotten to know the real Shannon quite well. He thinks that it is absolutely unfair that people think I am so nice. He takes it so seriously that he once made me email him something that I had said to him so that he would have proof of how evil I actually am. The funniest part about that is that when he tells people about what I said, they still think I'm nice! The comment that is most often made is that I'm a total saint for putting up with him! HA!

I'm sure you're all dying to know what this heinous thing that I said I'll tell you.

Several years ago I had a coworker that drove me absolutely batty. We'll call her M. M is a very sweet person but dumber than a box of rocks, and quite odd looking. The type of person you think might have something wrong with them, but you can't quite tell for sure. I am a very patient person in general, but the one thing that is sure to make me lose my patience is a person who asks me a million stupid questions because they just can't figure anything out on their own. I always tried very hard to be nice to M while we worked together. (Usually, it took quite a lot of effort on my part!)

When she was hired to come and work with us, she was in the middle of planning her wedding. I think that I was only weeks away from my own wedding at the time, so she was constantly asking me questions and trying to compare notes. It drove me insane!

When it came time for her bachelorette party she invited me, along with the other women we worked with (there were 4 of us total). I really did not want to go, but when I found out that no one else was going to, I felt so bad for her that I ended up going. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life! When I got there I discovered that her guest list included her Matron of Honor and the MOH's sister, M's Mother, and I think 1 or 2 other women. The party was in her condo and her father was hanging out upstairs. The plan was to have a lingerie show, and then they had hired a stripper. I just about died! Me and 4 or 5 women sitting in a living room watching some strange (and not all that attractive) guy gyrate and take off his clothes. AWKWARD! In addition to my night in hell, I also attended her bridal shower and their wedding...all because I am too frickin' nice! So that's the basic background of my little story. The only other thing that you need to know is that as strange and dumb as M was, my impression of her new husband was even worse!

Ok, now flash forward a few years. I had changed jobs right about the time that M got married, and it had been almost 2 years since we had seen each other. I was in need of a service that my former place of business provided, so I decided to show some loyalty and go to them for what I needed. M ended up being the person to help me out. We talked while she was taking care of me, and during our conversation I learned that she was pregnant. She told me that she and her husband had been trying for a long time and had ended up having to go through fertility treatments to get pregnant.

Ok, before I finally tell you what I said, I need to make a disclaimer. If you have had to endure fertility treatments, please do not take offense at what I'm about to tell you! My statement was only meant to apply to this particular situation and does not reflect in any way my personal feelings or beliefs regarding fertility issues and treatments.

After finding out about M's pregnancy I just had to tell Kevin all about it. He knew how much she made me crazy, so I figured that he would appreciate hearing about it. After telling him all about our conversation I said...

"That's just another example of science thwarting natural selection."

And there you have it- probably the nastiest thing I've ever said about another human being...and I would never take it back. I'll leave it up to you to be the judge of just how nice you think I really am.

6 fabulous responses:

McMommy said...

Whoa! My dear sweet nice Shannon!?! Who would've thunk it?!? :)

Unknown said...

I've said stuff like that too. But as I was reading, I was thinking--I totally have to see this chick! I know, I'm bad.

And the comments in yearbooks...they are all so INANE! What were we even thinking?

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Whoa is right!!! Things that make you go hmmmmmm

Carol said...

I know I have a secret dark side too.

I suspect everyone does.

Nobody is perfect after all.

Simply Shannon said...

I wish that I had a photo of M and her husband to share! I tried to see if I could find one online, but alas, I can not for the life of me remember her last name and the company I worked for doesn't seem to have a website. BUMMER! I'll keep trying though.

Anonymous said...

I think we've all said things that we thought weren't so nice. It's not even intended that way, just sarcastic comments made at the spur of the moment. It doesn't make us bad, mean, hateful or anything else. Just makes us human.

Now, had you said that to M herself...